Two weeks since my last entry??? Not possible....someone must've messed with my calendar.....
No?
Hmmm....guess it's been 2 weeks then! :-O
So back a few weeks ago there was discussion about me leaving the upscale living (didn't know it was that upscale at the time though) of AJ (that's the base I was at) and taking up a new post as the sole PT provider at camp VA. It was eventually decided that it would happen, it was just a matter of when.
So the happy day to move out of the tents and into a real building came, Sunday 17 Feb. What had been planned as a precision military movement was dashed for the "first come first served" method of military movement. I went from being scheduled to be the first to move in to who knows where in the mass of movement. Yeah. Eventually I get to my new digs, but only after the people in charge of the building find out that I'm only going to be staying there for a night or two then leaving for VA. They didn't like that idea at all...
After a few "high level conversations" it was decided that since I was there with all my stuff, I could stay. So stay I did. I moved into a nice sized little slice of the open bay barracks having been assigned as the guy in charge of the open bay. The perk with that assignment was I got my own slice of the room instead of a bunk mate to share the slice with. :-) Not much to work with mind you, but it was twice as much to work with as anyone else in the room with me. It's good to be the king baby!
Knowing it was short lived, I didn't bother unpacking more than the things I'd be using day to day. So while I was there I made the best use of my ammenities:
3 big screen/flat screen TV's to chose from.
30-40 phones to call home with (for free).
High speed wireless internet.
Movie theatre across the street.
Hot showers 15 feet down the hall and INSIDE the building.
Bathrooms right there too! INSIDE!!!
Good stuff all.
Well, come Monday night I get the word: "How long will it take you to pack up?"
"An hour or so" I say.
"OK, good."
And that was that. No time was set, but the inevidible was closer.
Next morning at 0710, "Hey, did you hear we're leaving at 0730?"
"Um, no."
"You might want to check on it then...."
See there's this other person who was supposedly going to VA as well and we had been sharing info as we got it in an effort to thwart the unbelievably poor communication we were surrounded by.
Moments later I actually got the official word, we're leaving momentarily.
I laughed.
"Um, no, I'm not going anywhere yet. A) I said I'd need an hour to pack up. B) The person who's going to be sliding into my job needed to be trained how to work the computer at the very least, and that was going to take an hour or two as well."
"Oh. Well can you be ready by 0930?"
"No. Maybe 1030 it we're lucky."
"Oh. Ok. Let us know when you're ready."
"Deal."
Come 1010, I was packing my pillow into a sea bag and was 10 seconds away from being done.
Any guesses what happened next?
"Hey doc, never mind, we'll leave tomorrow instead."
Pick any string of 4 letter words having a minimum of 12 words and you've paled in comparison to that which I chose to spout off at that moment. My parents raised me right but sometimes I can get a liiiiiiiiiiiiiitle bit foul mouthed when pushed. I mean really....finish this phrase:
"He swears like a ________"
See what I mean?
Come to find out, it was no one's fault at all and if you're one of those people who believe things happen for a reason, you'll be with me on this next part-
A sand storm was rolling in and the roads had been closed.
If I had answered with "yes sir" and just done my best to get ready and leave instead of doing the right thing by my replacement, we'd've been out on the road when the sand storm rolled in. Thanks, but I think I'll skip a trip in a sand storm and wait until the roads are clear.
Anyway, I decided the rest of the morning was going to be devoted to email and checking to see if the PX had any new games for my PSP. (they didn't)
I finished the afternoon giving more direction to my relpacement, better preparing him for his new job. At least that was a plus. (my cup is 1/2 full my cup is 1/2 full my cup is 1/2 full.....)
So the plan now is to depart at 0730 the next morning.
0715 rolls around and my neighbor (in the next bunk) says through the privacy curtain "hey doc, we're going to push it back to 0800." Cool. I'll get breakfast after all! :-) 0800 rolls around, and me and my moving cohort are standing by with about 300-400 pounds of gear....waiting.
I say "any bets we don't leave until 0930?"
"No way, he's just talking to ******* and will be here in a minute."
"You think so eh?"
"It might be a few minutes, but we'll be outta here by 0830 I'm sure."
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(How'd you like my blog representation of time slowly passing? :-) )
0950 and the vehicle is here and ready to load up us and our gear.
"Ok guys, just one stop and we're off."
Unbefreakingleavable.
So we practice (what am I saying...practice? I've been doing this for nearly 14 years....I'm an expert at...) hurry up and wait.
1030 arrives and we're actually pulling off base and heading toward VA.
yeah
So I get my first sights of Kuwait.
I can't believe people live here on purpose.
Flat, brown, dirty, windy, dusty, littered, construction everywhere, sheep/camels/goats and ferral cats roaming about.
Add to that the drivers who make a concerted effort to top the stupidest drivers in the world and you've got Kuwait. (at least the part I saw)
These drivers are straight up ignorant. We were told that the greatest risk we'll have while here is driving. More people are killed in car accidents than in convoys to Iraq. Speed limits are merely suggestions. Lane markers are for wusses. Breakdown lane/shoulder/ditches are for driving in the wrong direction. Crossing the median and 3 lanes of traffic going 140 kph (about 90 mph) so you don't have to wait for an exit is common. And don't forget the camels/goats/sheep and cats. Christ, this place doesn't have wild or loose animals wandering about, they have road kill in waiting. Add to that passing way too close to oncoming traffic to the point that said oncomming traffic has to pull into the breakdown lane/shoulder/ditch, and this is irregardless of hills or curves mind you, and you've got thousands and thousands of people just biding their time waiting to smash into something/someone. They're not bad drivers. Bad drivers turn without using a signal. Bad drivers make lane changes without checking their blind spot. Bad drivers talk on cell phones (without hands free features) when they should be paying attention to the road. These guys are straight up ignorant.
I'm stepping off my soap box now. Thank you for your attention. ;-)
So I make it to VA in one piece only having been shocked by the traffic about 4 times.
OH! Wait!!! I forgot something!!!!
Before we left AJ, I had my first opportunity to carry a side arm! :-D It's the rule here. Leave base only with a gun. AND bullets! :-D But you can't put the bullets into the gun.... :-(
So knowing that, you KNOW what I was thinking on that drive......now don't you? :-D :-D
2 magazines
15 bullets in each magazine
30 less ignorant bastards endangering my life on the road! :-D Sounds like a plan to me!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately I didn't fill out the right paperwork so I only got to imagine it. Yes I'm kidding....there's no such paperwork. And no, that doesn't mean ther is no paperwork to fill out to get permission to whack ingoramouses (that can't be spelled right! ig-nor-aim-us-es), that means we're not allowed to whack....them....at all. If I were in charge....... :-D :-O
Ok, back to the story------
I make it to my destination. See, I had heard nothing but great things about VA. I knew the 3 officers that were here and really like each of them. One I was stationed with at my very first duty station 14 years ago, one I work with back in MD, and the other one I had some dealings with while we were in Pendleton so I got to know her some and she's really cool! With that and the fact that I got a real room to stay in instead of an open bay barracks which I ohly had to share with one person (normally the room housed 4 with it's 2 bunk beds) and I was really looking forward to getting here and getting settled in.
I bet y'all are laughing right now aren't you? I can hear you. "You believed what?" "When are you going to learn?" "Ha ha! Got you again didn't they?" "Sucker!"
U-huh...I hear you....
My room? I'm the third in the room.
Amenities? Um, no.
High speed wireless internet? Well, compared to the connection I had on base in Annapolis it's high speed....
Movie theatre? 20 chairs and TV. They do show new release DVD's though. Invincible was playing...
Gym? Yup...it's....right....um....over there....oops no...that's not it....it's around here somewhere.
Chow hall? Take a right out of the building, walk past the fire station, when you get to the 72nd pile of sand take a right and watch for the cement Jersey barrier that has the dirt on it. The chow hall's (hehehe..I just accidentally typed chow hell! LOL!) a quarter mile on the other side of it.
Showers? Instead of walking on the chow hall side of he fire station, walk on the other side and look for a box with a set of stairs leading to it. If you get there before the Army, you even get warm water!
Toilet? 3 to choose from including one with lights and all with in 150 feet.
Phones? 2.
TV? 1.
Now on to the good stuff.
Now that I'm done with that, lets compare work.
AJ: 0730-1130 (lunch) 1300-1530. Sat 0730-1130.
VA: 0730-1130 (lunch) 1300-1700. Sat 0730-1130 (lunch) 1300-1600.
Duty in AJ: once a month.
Duty in VA: once a week plus semi-regular chow hall watch counting the number of people who come through one of the 2 doors.
So now you can see my upside. :-)
Thank the gods that I've found someone to play The Spoils with.
I'm not quite done yet, but I'm done for now.
For those of you who pray....hit me with a few ok? ;-) Thanks! :-)
Tune in next time (not sure when that'll be but....) for:
The clinic that looks like a double wide trailer
Estim machine made by Zenith
The Haji DVD store
and best of all:
Baby by phone
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
This one could be called "Sand Fog" or "Watching footprints dissappear". Which do you like better?
Either way, both titles are referring to the dust storm we've got going on now. Visibility is somewhere around 400 feet and it pretty much resembles fog. But, it's sand.
Around 8:30 this morning I went over to the next building to excrete my first bottle of water, and noticed that instead of being able to see for what might be miles over the flat terrain over here, I could only see about 2 blocks away, then it looked like a haze was swallowing up the further buildings. Hmm. So this is a dust storm.
About 3o minutes later, looking out my window I noticed that the building that's about 150 feet away was only partially visble. Damn. Everything on the other side of the building is swallowed by the sand.
By 10:00 the dust/sand was finding its way into our building. We could taste and smell it. Oh joy. It's outside...inside, and I'm gettin a headache.
Then lunch time rolled around. Well there's no way I'm not eating, so off I go. Things had changed a bit out there; wind. Holding onto my cover, squinting to the point of closing my eyes completely (open for 1 second, walk 10 feet, open again, repeat) I made it to the 1/2 way point of reaching the chow hall. Here I'm between 2 rows of buildings that run parrallel to the wind. What does this create? A huge wind tunnel. I'm talking lean forward, point your face straight at the ground, open your eyes and look up long enough to make sure you weren't going to run into anyone/thing, and drive on.
Now since everywhere you walk here you're walking on sand (95% at least), everyone leaves foot prints. But today, in the wind tunnel, there were no foot prints to be seen. When someone walked past me and I looked up to ensure I wasn't going to run into someone behind them, I noticed it, no foot prints. I really wanted to turn around and see if my foot prints were dissappearing behind me, but I thought better of it as my stomach was telling me to hurry up.
So, that's a dust storm.
Yes, a DUST storm. Not a SAND storm. I hear sand storms are rare here so I'll keep my fingers crossed that we miss out on seeing one first hand. I've seen video of them though and if you're of the mind to, I'm sure you can google a video of one. The one I saw showed an orange/brown cloud coming closer and closer until everything turned brown like a sepia picture, darker and darker, until it turned into night. So much sand that it blocks out the sun.
Sound like fun to you?
I think I'll leave the fast pass for someone else...
Around 8:30 this morning I went over to the next building to excrete my first bottle of water, and noticed that instead of being able to see for what might be miles over the flat terrain over here, I could only see about 2 blocks away, then it looked like a haze was swallowing up the further buildings. Hmm. So this is a dust storm.
About 3o minutes later, looking out my window I noticed that the building that's about 150 feet away was only partially visble. Damn. Everything on the other side of the building is swallowed by the sand.
By 10:00 the dust/sand was finding its way into our building. We could taste and smell it. Oh joy. It's outside...inside, and I'm gettin a headache.
Then lunch time rolled around. Well there's no way I'm not eating, so off I go. Things had changed a bit out there; wind. Holding onto my cover, squinting to the point of closing my eyes completely (open for 1 second, walk 10 feet, open again, repeat) I made it to the 1/2 way point of reaching the chow hall. Here I'm between 2 rows of buildings that run parrallel to the wind. What does this create? A huge wind tunnel. I'm talking lean forward, point your face straight at the ground, open your eyes and look up long enough to make sure you weren't going to run into anyone/thing, and drive on.
Now since everywhere you walk here you're walking on sand (95% at least), everyone leaves foot prints. But today, in the wind tunnel, there were no foot prints to be seen. When someone walked past me and I looked up to ensure I wasn't going to run into someone behind them, I noticed it, no foot prints. I really wanted to turn around and see if my foot prints were dissappearing behind me, but I thought better of it as my stomach was telling me to hurry up.
So, that's a dust storm.
Yes, a DUST storm. Not a SAND storm. I hear sand storms are rare here so I'll keep my fingers crossed that we miss out on seeing one first hand. I've seen video of them though and if you're of the mind to, I'm sure you can google a video of one. The one I saw showed an orange/brown cloud coming closer and closer until everything turned brown like a sepia picture, darker and darker, until it turned into night. So much sand that it blocks out the sun.
Sound like fun to you?
I think I'll leave the fast pass for someone else...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Some paint and chip paint, some strip and wax (the floor you perv!) I get to sweep the desert
Yes sports fans, it's true. Monday mornings everyone gets together for a FOD walk and general clean up around camp. This includes, much to my surprise and astonishment, sweeping the ground. Not that the 10-50mph winds don't do that enough, or the rotor wash from the helos for that matter, so us lucky folk get to man the brooms and shovels to put that nasty sand back in the desert where it belongs, away from our....tents.
Can you imagin the look on 30 people's faces when we were told to start sweeping sand in the desert? Or a collective "What did she say? She didn't say.....did she?" Yup, she did.
Well that was monday, and a great start to the week it was!
Now remember back when I mentioned surf-n-turf Wednesdays? Well it's already here again and this time I visited the galley that had lobster tails instead of crab legs. Now, being from New England I've had lobster more times than any 50 people you know who aren't from New England. I've cooked it...bake stuffed it...boiled it. I've had lobster pie, lobster rolls, lobster newburg and lobster in various mixed seafood dishes as well. Lobster, no matter how you slice it, is yuuuuuuuuummy and something to look forward to.
I was 3rd in line waiting outside the door when they opened the place. The 2 in front of me didn't seem to care that much that lobster and porterhouse steaks were waiting for me. They were chitt-chatting and casually picked up their tray and silverware as I exercised self control to not tell them (they outranked me) to get a move on damn it, I'm hungry and lobster and porterhouses are waiting for me.
A very long 6 or 7 seconds later I was withing nose shot of supper. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmm!!!!
Then I could see the steak, somthered in onions and mushrooms, grilled just a bit longer than it needed to be, but looked pretty not bad compared to last week's T-bone. And what was right next to the steaks? A pan about 12" x 24" rounded up with lobster tails. The shells were split so the slightly seasoned meet was jumping right out at me practically calling my name.
"One of each please."
And the nice middle eastern man put one of each on a plate for me.
The steak actually fell apart a little bit and revealed a juicy interior that actually had small parts with color one shade closer to pink than brown! OMG!!!! Not quite medium (freaking well done by my grilling standards quite frankly, but I digress) but not the cooked to death steak I had last week. Oh happy day!
I added some seasoned green beans (seasoned with....bacon...don't ask, I didn't) to my plate and scurried off to one of the hundred or so unoccupied tables.
Without hesitation I forked my lobster and whacked off a chunk. Put the scrumptions morsel into my mouth and found out that you actually can #^()*&^ up a lobster!
What the hell did these no-brained (bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep) SOB's do to my lobster?!?!
I was crushed.
I will not forgive them.
I think I need to learn some of the local dilect so I can...ehem...properly express myself next time. What do you think? :-O
I ate it of course, because hey, I'm in the middle of a freaking desert ya know.
The steak was passible.
Can you imagin the look on 30 people's faces when we were told to start sweeping sand in the desert? Or a collective "What did she say? She didn't say.....did she?" Yup, she did.
Well that was monday, and a great start to the week it was!
Now remember back when I mentioned surf-n-turf Wednesdays? Well it's already here again and this time I visited the galley that had lobster tails instead of crab legs. Now, being from New England I've had lobster more times than any 50 people you know who aren't from New England. I've cooked it...bake stuffed it...boiled it. I've had lobster pie, lobster rolls, lobster newburg and lobster in various mixed seafood dishes as well. Lobster, no matter how you slice it, is yuuuuuuuuummy and something to look forward to.
I was 3rd in line waiting outside the door when they opened the place. The 2 in front of me didn't seem to care that much that lobster and porterhouse steaks were waiting for me. They were chitt-chatting and casually picked up their tray and silverware as I exercised self control to not tell them (they outranked me) to get a move on damn it, I'm hungry and lobster and porterhouses are waiting for me.
A very long 6 or 7 seconds later I was withing nose shot of supper. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmm!!!!
Then I could see the steak, somthered in onions and mushrooms, grilled just a bit longer than it needed to be, but looked pretty not bad compared to last week's T-bone. And what was right next to the steaks? A pan about 12" x 24" rounded up with lobster tails. The shells were split so the slightly seasoned meet was jumping right out at me practically calling my name.
"One of each please."
And the nice middle eastern man put one of each on a plate for me.
The steak actually fell apart a little bit and revealed a juicy interior that actually had small parts with color one shade closer to pink than brown! OMG!!!! Not quite medium (freaking well done by my grilling standards quite frankly, but I digress) but not the cooked to death steak I had last week. Oh happy day!
I added some seasoned green beans (seasoned with....bacon...don't ask, I didn't) to my plate and scurried off to one of the hundred or so unoccupied tables.
Without hesitation I forked my lobster and whacked off a chunk. Put the scrumptions morsel into my mouth and found out that you actually can #^()*&^ up a lobster!
What the hell did these no-brained (bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep) SOB's do to my lobster?!?!
I was crushed.
I will not forgive them.
I think I need to learn some of the local dilect so I can...ehem...properly express myself next time. What do you think? :-O
I ate it of course, because hey, I'm in the middle of a freaking desert ya know.
The steak was passible.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
What do you mean salsa night has nothing to do with food?
Well as I suspected, I've settled into a boring routine. Go to work, eat a so-so lunch (of the 3 galleys that are available the one near work is regarded as the least appetizing..yeah) work some more, call home, eat a so-so supper (this allows time for digestion so I can hit the gym on a non-full stomach) work out, shower, go to bed/watch something I've got recorded on the lap top or PSP.
All was going according to plan last night (Friday) until I got out of the shower and back to my luxury tent (at near 9PM) ready for bed.
"Get dressed we're going to zone 1 for salsa night" one of my tent mates says.
"No thanks I'm going to bed."
Blah blah blah...peer pressure...blah blah blah..."c'mon team player"...
Crap, looks like I'm not going to bed IAW my SOP.
Once we get there, there are 200-250 people (mostly watching) crammed into a room the size of an average basement. After realizing that this is no fut, we make our way to the pool tables in another part of the building. In 3 games I end up comming in second repeatedly. ;-)
On our way out we check in on the crowd and it has swolen to an even larger amount and the dance flor is PACKED with sweaty people who look like they just got out of the gym. With that, the temp in the room was probably 15-20 degrees higher than the rest of the building. Not my cup of tea!
Luckily outside it was nice and cool, just right for jeans and a t-shirt.
The only other thing to report is that I may be moving to one of the outlying bases since we're short in my specialty and one of the areas is completely without my type of service. But since it's only in the talking phase (something I brought up the day after we arrived...pointing out that we were short a tech and had a spare here filling another billet so it all made sense to me, but did anyone care at that time? Of course not. Silly me, you think I'd know better by now. :-O) who knows.
Tomorrow is my first official day off in 4 weeks, so maybe I'll have something fun to talk about after that.
Stay tuned!
All was going according to plan last night (Friday) until I got out of the shower and back to my luxury tent (at near 9PM) ready for bed.
"Get dressed we're going to zone 1 for salsa night" one of my tent mates says.
"No thanks I'm going to bed."
Blah blah blah...peer pressure...blah blah blah..."c'mon team player"...
Crap, looks like I'm not going to bed IAW my SOP.
Once we get there, there are 200-250 people (mostly watching) crammed into a room the size of an average basement. After realizing that this is no fut, we make our way to the pool tables in another part of the building. In 3 games I end up comming in second repeatedly. ;-)
On our way out we check in on the crowd and it has swolen to an even larger amount and the dance flor is PACKED with sweaty people who look like they just got out of the gym. With that, the temp in the room was probably 15-20 degrees higher than the rest of the building. Not my cup of tea!
Luckily outside it was nice and cool, just right for jeans and a t-shirt.
The only other thing to report is that I may be moving to one of the outlying bases since we're short in my specialty and one of the areas is completely without my type of service. But since it's only in the talking phase (something I brought up the day after we arrived...pointing out that we were short a tech and had a spare here filling another billet so it all made sense to me, but did anyone care at that time? Of course not. Silly me, you think I'd know better by now. :-O) who knows.
Tomorrow is my first official day off in 4 weeks, so maybe I'll have something fun to talk about after that.
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Wednesday = surf-n-turff
I had heard about it months before I got here. Wednesday is the day everyone has supper at the galley. Well, tonight I got to see just what it was all about.
Grilled T-bone steak, fried shrimp the size of cocktail shrimp, Alaskan king crab legs and New England clam chowder.
The crab legs were surprisingly good. Since there's no way that they weren't frozen I thought they'd be lousy. Wrong! Not bad at all! :-) Didn't go with the shrimp since I'm avoiding fried foods thanks to my last cholesterol check being just under 250.
The T-bone on the other hand...poor defenseles T-bone...got the crap cooked out of it. The flavor was really good and it was as tender as a tenderloin but the only way they're cooked is well and dry. Poor steak never had a chance.
As far a work goes, I had my first full day today and got to see just how things have been run. Let's just say that I'm fairly confident that I'm going to look really really good to those that matter once the change over is complete. Since I can'at know who's reading this, I'll refrain from talking bad about anyone.
It also looks like I'm the most senior person in the directorate (under the Chief that is) so I'm probably looking at a greater leadership position than I bargained for. And if my oppinions of some pan out, I'll have yet another great opportunity to show those that matter that I've got all my stuff in one sock...if ya know what I mean!
Lastly, I've even got 2 straight days in the gym so far and yoga to try tomorrow! With all this food around, and good food at that, I might have to start 2-a-days. :-O
TTFN
Grilled T-bone steak, fried shrimp the size of cocktail shrimp, Alaskan king crab legs and New England clam chowder.
The crab legs were surprisingly good. Since there's no way that they weren't frozen I thought they'd be lousy. Wrong! Not bad at all! :-) Didn't go with the shrimp since I'm avoiding fried foods thanks to my last cholesterol check being just under 250.
The T-bone on the other hand...poor defenseles T-bone...got the crap cooked out of it. The flavor was really good and it was as tender as a tenderloin but the only way they're cooked is well and dry. Poor steak never had a chance.
As far a work goes, I had my first full day today and got to see just how things have been run. Let's just say that I'm fairly confident that I'm going to look really really good to those that matter once the change over is complete. Since I can'at know who's reading this, I'll refrain from talking bad about anyone.
It also looks like I'm the most senior person in the directorate (under the Chief that is) so I'm probably looking at a greater leadership position than I bargained for. And if my oppinions of some pan out, I'll have yet another great opportunity to show those that matter that I've got all my stuff in one sock...if ya know what I mean!
Lastly, I've even got 2 straight days in the gym so far and yoga to try tomorrow! With all this food around, and good food at that, I might have to start 2-a-days. :-O
TTFN
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Finding my way around
So far, so good. I'm done my indoctrination and have started to get acquainted with my new work space. It's small but adequate. I'll have one other tech with me and one therapist. It appears that they see about 2 patients every hour which is more than manageable by just one person so it looks like I'll either have plenty of time for one-on-one with my patients or time to tackle other things.
Up near where I'll be residing I've found there is a movie theatre that shows movies that are about 2-3 months old, so no worse than the good old Strand back home. And we don't have to pay either! :-)
Not only that, but twice a week I can get back into yoga (try not to be too jealous dear!). I'm not sure what kind it is yet, but if it's anything like I did in Oki, I'm there.
So until I get to move into the new diggs some time next week, I probably won't have much to report. But of course if anything note worthy does happen I'll be sure to let y'all know.
bbdt bbdt bbdt, that's all folks!
Up near where I'll be residing I've found there is a movie theatre that shows movies that are about 2-3 months old, so no worse than the good old Strand back home. And we don't have to pay either! :-)
Not only that, but twice a week I can get back into yoga (try not to be too jealous dear!). I'm not sure what kind it is yet, but if it's anything like I did in Oki, I'm there.
So until I get to move into the new diggs some time next week, I probably won't have much to report. But of course if anything note worthy does happen I'll be sure to let y'all know.
bbdt bbdt bbdt, that's all folks!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Once upon a time at 2:30 AM...
Thursday, 31 Jan, 0230: Get up in the holyfreakingcrap cold, pack up the last items that need packing (anything used during the night pretty much), drag 3 full sea bags out to the parking lot (approximately 200-220 lbs total), clean out our wonderful, now former, dwellings, supervise the youngsters cleaning out their dwellings and report all done.
0330: Everyone outside (from the one warm room we all congregate in whenever we don’t have to be anywhere specific) to load around 600 sea bags and 200+ suitcases into an 18-wheeler for transport to our departure site. Ever get handed an 80 pound bag from someone 5 feet tall? Or 6.5 feet tall? I wouldn’t recommend it. Either your killing your back bending over or trying to stay upright as it crashes down on you.
0500: Everyone to the busses for the 2 hr drive to the Air Force base we’ll be flying out of. And does my bus have any heat? Do I need to answer? I didn’t think so!
0730: 30 lucky junior people get to load all of the sea bags and all of the suitcases into the plane. Sometimes it’s good to be management ya’ know? J
While they’re doing that the rest of us are hanging out in a converted hanger. A couple TVs, various books and magazines (some from 1996, but hey, National Geographic never goes out of date now does it?), plus plenty of room to sit around playing cards or watching DVDs on lap tops. We get PB&J for lunch provided by some VFW and DAR volunteers, then head out to our plane.
1300: We’re all standing in one of 4 lines on the outside edge of the runway.
1330: We’re all standing in one of 4 lines on the outside edge of the runway. Well most of us are anyway…some have decided lying down is a better idea.
1350: In a very fine military fashion we march in a single file to the plane. After getting settled in it dawns on me, we never went through a metal detector, had anyone look through our carry on bags, and didn’t have to separate any liquids or gels. Hmmm…
This becomes very obvious when we start getting the announcements from the air crew. Mind you, this is a civilian plane with a normal civilian crew and all the normal plane amenities except alcohol. Instead of the normal “pay attention to the video so y’all can survive a crash” we get “please stow all fire arms with the muzzle pointed toward the outboard, butt toward the middle of the plane.” Hmmm…
Nothing very eventful from lift off to our first stop in Maine. Unfortunately the video player died so Bourne Ultimatum was a no-go. Most people either slept or played video games. Our in flight fare was a choice of chicken or pasta, both got decent reviews.
In Maine, lots of people partook of a real Maine lobster roll. Many even went back for a second one even though they were $11 each. I’ll take the $4 cheese burger thanks. After the 2 hr layover for fuel and a change of flight crew we were back in the air.
Once we were at cruising altitude lo-and-behold, they served us more food! Our choices were chicken or pasta. Apparently when a new crew checks in they bring chicken and pasta with them.
About 3-4 hrs into our movie-less flight, the captain decides we need to make an unscheduled stop at a Jiffy Lube in Ireland. Seems he didn’t like the dropping oil pressure in one of our engines…
Ireland here we come!
I’m not sure how long we were there between the time change and dozing intermittently, but after what seemed to be about 3 hrs someone was kind enough to think about our grumbling bellies. The airline was kind enough to give us all a 10 Euro voucher to eat at the one and only eatery in the place, a coffee/sandwich shop.
After ½ of us get our chow we hear “flight blah-blah-blah (I don’t remember what it was) departing. Everyone report to gate 14.” Most of us ignore it figuring that there’s no way we’re going to be left behind and we were hungry damn it. Within 10 minutes, “last call for flight blah-blah-blah. The flight is leaving immediately. All passengers report to gate 14.” By this time I’ve got my food but there are at least 50 people who haven’t gotten theirs yet. Within minutes they’re all clamoring onto the plane so my guess is they didn’t get to eat after all. Luckily we ate in the order of lowest rank to highest rank, so it’s just the officers that didn’t get to eat and who cares about them anyway? :-0
So off we go leaving Ireland behind. And what happens once we’re at cruising altitude? Why they feed us of course! This time our choices are chicken or pasta. I think I see a pattern here. After not long at all we touch down in Germany for our scheduled flight crew change and fuel and restocking of pasta and chicken. We’re all pretty excited to see what there is to see at the German airport and we were scheduled for a 1.5-2 hr stop.
Well, it we didn’t get what we were expecting/hoping for. Instead of checking out the German shops and restaurants we get put in a military holding building used by the US. Bummer.
But they do have a gift shop featuring lots of alcohol, chocolate of every kind imaginable including hot chili papaya chocolate (thanks, I’ll pass), steins of all shapes and sizes and prices, soccer paraphernalia, Ramstein (a big German heavy metal band) and naked lady lighters, mouse pads, pens and decks of cards. I decided to buy a set of mini steins/mugs, a couple of energy drinks I’ve never seen before (Dark Dog and Rhinoceros) and some guarana Mentos. With the understanding that we’d be starting death by power point as soon as we got to base I thought it’d be a good idea to have something to help me stay awake! The Mentos suck but work well! In addition to all of these goodies there are 4 foose ball tables, lots of phones, internet access and CNN.
Well, 2.5 hrs after we arrived, we were still there. No one was telling us anything but a rumor started circulating that there were 100’s of bunk beds behind a wall and we weren’t leaving today after all. ½ an hour later someone’s thinking about our stomachs again and arrangements are made to get our next meal off of the plane and into our bellies. We set up a bunch of tables and get ready for…wait for it…chicken or pasta! But this time we just get handed one of them without knowing which one we’re getting so it’s like Christmas! J
Shortly thereafter it’s confirmed, we’re not leaving tonight. Turns out that you can’t easily change your landing time in Kuwait City, and since we had a delay in Ireland and missed/would have missed our time, we need to wait for a new time to land the next day.
Sure enough, there are 100’s of triple bunk beds behind the wall. No showers mind you, but at least there were mattresses and pillows. Oh, and blankets…zebra, leopard or tiger stripes! “Bow-chica-bow-wow” can be heard all over the place.
6 hrs later and its 0400 Saturday morning Germany time, 2 hrs before we’re scheduled to take off. We pick up after ourselves and wash up as best we can then slather on the deodorant. After all, for most of us it’s now been 48 hrs since our last shower and we’ve been in the same clothes for 40 hrs. We get off the ground and head for the desert.
I don’t know who planned it, and don’t know what I’d do to him if I met him, but sure enough instead of a proper breakfast type meal we get….yup…for the 4th time in I’m not sure how many days/hrs…chicken or pasta.
Now I know you’re curious as to what I ate each time so here you go: Chicken, none, pasta, pasta.
So we finally make it to Kuwait International airport 36 hrs after we left California and 54 hrs since the last time we put on clean socks and drawers.
Once we’re filed off of the plane we get bussed to a holding area to await our luggage (under a desert cammo tarp). Once that’s ready to go we file on to yet another bunch of busses. Anxious to see our new surroundings we naturally pull back the curtained windows and get ready for the 45 min ride to base. Don’t you know that was a no-no! Before the last curtain was pulled back, someone with a gun quickly jumped onto the bus and told us to close the curtains so that no one enroute to base would see that these busses were full of Americans! Gee, isn’t this supposed to be a fairly safe part of the Middle East? Guess you can’t be too safe, so we all go to sleep instead.
So finally, we make it to our new home for the next 6 months. After unloading all of our gear and finding our new tents, we all get back together to find the chow hall. Now, there was a headline in one of the military weekly news papers that said “Deployed troops are gaining weight on deployment for the first time in history”. And let me tell you, I’ve found out why:
The chow hall here is ENORMOUS and stocked with everything you could want. The main line has 2 entrées and the fast food line has 2-4 items along with other fried sides. From there it’s a Jenny Craig nightmare! Salads, fruits, juices, Pepsi AND Coke products, coffee/tea/hot chocolate, a dozen different cakes and pies, Baskin Robbins ice cream or soft serve, every kind of cookie I’ve ever heard of, doughnuts, pastries, jello-ish looking stuff with other stuff in it, puddings and more. You have to see it to believe it.
Now that I’ve settled in to my tent and have gotten familiar with my new surroundings, its really not bad at all. The tent has heat (and I thought deserts were hot?) and real foam mattresses (I bought a pillow since none was provided). We’ve got a gym that’s open 24 hrs a day, as is the Starbucks, KFC, Hardees, Subway and Burger King. Pizza Hut closes at midnight however.
I’ll be in my tent for a couple of weeks then move in with my newest crop of 59 friends in the open bay berthing near the hospital where I’ll be.
Well that’s about it for now. I’ve got a bunch of pictures, so if I can figure out how to do it, I’ll post them along with a short description.
Take care out there!
0330: Everyone outside (from the one warm room we all congregate in whenever we don’t have to be anywhere specific) to load around 600 sea bags and 200+ suitcases into an 18-wheeler for transport to our departure site. Ever get handed an 80 pound bag from someone 5 feet tall? Or 6.5 feet tall? I wouldn’t recommend it. Either your killing your back bending over or trying to stay upright as it crashes down on you.
0500: Everyone to the busses for the 2 hr drive to the Air Force base we’ll be flying out of. And does my bus have any heat? Do I need to answer? I didn’t think so!
0730: 30 lucky junior people get to load all of the sea bags and all of the suitcases into the plane. Sometimes it’s good to be management ya’ know? J
While they’re doing that the rest of us are hanging out in a converted hanger. A couple TVs, various books and magazines (some from 1996, but hey, National Geographic never goes out of date now does it?), plus plenty of room to sit around playing cards or watching DVDs on lap tops. We get PB&J for lunch provided by some VFW and DAR volunteers, then head out to our plane.
1300: We’re all standing in one of 4 lines on the outside edge of the runway.
1330: We’re all standing in one of 4 lines on the outside edge of the runway. Well most of us are anyway…some have decided lying down is a better idea.
1350: In a very fine military fashion we march in a single file to the plane. After getting settled in it dawns on me, we never went through a metal detector, had anyone look through our carry on bags, and didn’t have to separate any liquids or gels. Hmmm…
This becomes very obvious when we start getting the announcements from the air crew. Mind you, this is a civilian plane with a normal civilian crew and all the normal plane amenities except alcohol. Instead of the normal “pay attention to the video so y’all can survive a crash” we get “please stow all fire arms with the muzzle pointed toward the outboard, butt toward the middle of the plane.” Hmmm…
Nothing very eventful from lift off to our first stop in Maine. Unfortunately the video player died so Bourne Ultimatum was a no-go. Most people either slept or played video games. Our in flight fare was a choice of chicken or pasta, both got decent reviews.
In Maine, lots of people partook of a real Maine lobster roll. Many even went back for a second one even though they were $11 each. I’ll take the $4 cheese burger thanks. After the 2 hr layover for fuel and a change of flight crew we were back in the air.
Once we were at cruising altitude lo-and-behold, they served us more food! Our choices were chicken or pasta. Apparently when a new crew checks in they bring chicken and pasta with them.
About 3-4 hrs into our movie-less flight, the captain decides we need to make an unscheduled stop at a Jiffy Lube in Ireland. Seems he didn’t like the dropping oil pressure in one of our engines…
Ireland here we come!
I’m not sure how long we were there between the time change and dozing intermittently, but after what seemed to be about 3 hrs someone was kind enough to think about our grumbling bellies. The airline was kind enough to give us all a 10 Euro voucher to eat at the one and only eatery in the place, a coffee/sandwich shop.
After ½ of us get our chow we hear “flight blah-blah-blah (I don’t remember what it was) departing. Everyone report to gate 14.” Most of us ignore it figuring that there’s no way we’re going to be left behind and we were hungry damn it. Within 10 minutes, “last call for flight blah-blah-blah. The flight is leaving immediately. All passengers report to gate 14.” By this time I’ve got my food but there are at least 50 people who haven’t gotten theirs yet. Within minutes they’re all clamoring onto the plane so my guess is they didn’t get to eat after all. Luckily we ate in the order of lowest rank to highest rank, so it’s just the officers that didn’t get to eat and who cares about them anyway? :-0
So off we go leaving Ireland behind. And what happens once we’re at cruising altitude? Why they feed us of course! This time our choices are chicken or pasta. I think I see a pattern here. After not long at all we touch down in Germany for our scheduled flight crew change and fuel and restocking of pasta and chicken. We’re all pretty excited to see what there is to see at the German airport and we were scheduled for a 1.5-2 hr stop.
Well, it we didn’t get what we were expecting/hoping for. Instead of checking out the German shops and restaurants we get put in a military holding building used by the US. Bummer.
But they do have a gift shop featuring lots of alcohol, chocolate of every kind imaginable including hot chili papaya chocolate (thanks, I’ll pass), steins of all shapes and sizes and prices, soccer paraphernalia, Ramstein (a big German heavy metal band) and naked lady lighters, mouse pads, pens and decks of cards. I decided to buy a set of mini steins/mugs, a couple of energy drinks I’ve never seen before (Dark Dog and Rhinoceros) and some guarana Mentos. With the understanding that we’d be starting death by power point as soon as we got to base I thought it’d be a good idea to have something to help me stay awake! The Mentos suck but work well! In addition to all of these goodies there are 4 foose ball tables, lots of phones, internet access and CNN.
Well, 2.5 hrs after we arrived, we were still there. No one was telling us anything but a rumor started circulating that there were 100’s of bunk beds behind a wall and we weren’t leaving today after all. ½ an hour later someone’s thinking about our stomachs again and arrangements are made to get our next meal off of the plane and into our bellies. We set up a bunch of tables and get ready for…wait for it…chicken or pasta! But this time we just get handed one of them without knowing which one we’re getting so it’s like Christmas! J
Shortly thereafter it’s confirmed, we’re not leaving tonight. Turns out that you can’t easily change your landing time in Kuwait City, and since we had a delay in Ireland and missed/would have missed our time, we need to wait for a new time to land the next day.
Sure enough, there are 100’s of triple bunk beds behind the wall. No showers mind you, but at least there were mattresses and pillows. Oh, and blankets…zebra, leopard or tiger stripes! “Bow-chica-bow-wow” can be heard all over the place.
6 hrs later and its 0400 Saturday morning Germany time, 2 hrs before we’re scheduled to take off. We pick up after ourselves and wash up as best we can then slather on the deodorant. After all, for most of us it’s now been 48 hrs since our last shower and we’ve been in the same clothes for 40 hrs. We get off the ground and head for the desert.
I don’t know who planned it, and don’t know what I’d do to him if I met him, but sure enough instead of a proper breakfast type meal we get….yup…for the 4th time in I’m not sure how many days/hrs…chicken or pasta.
Now I know you’re curious as to what I ate each time so here you go: Chicken, none, pasta, pasta.
So we finally make it to Kuwait International airport 36 hrs after we left California and 54 hrs since the last time we put on clean socks and drawers.
Once we’re filed off of the plane we get bussed to a holding area to await our luggage (under a desert cammo tarp). Once that’s ready to go we file on to yet another bunch of busses. Anxious to see our new surroundings we naturally pull back the curtained windows and get ready for the 45 min ride to base. Don’t you know that was a no-no! Before the last curtain was pulled back, someone with a gun quickly jumped onto the bus and told us to close the curtains so that no one enroute to base would see that these busses were full of Americans! Gee, isn’t this supposed to be a fairly safe part of the Middle East? Guess you can’t be too safe, so we all go to sleep instead.
So finally, we make it to our new home for the next 6 months. After unloading all of our gear and finding our new tents, we all get back together to find the chow hall. Now, there was a headline in one of the military weekly news papers that said “Deployed troops are gaining weight on deployment for the first time in history”. And let me tell you, I’ve found out why:
The chow hall here is ENORMOUS and stocked with everything you could want. The main line has 2 entrées and the fast food line has 2-4 items along with other fried sides. From there it’s a Jenny Craig nightmare! Salads, fruits, juices, Pepsi AND Coke products, coffee/tea/hot chocolate, a dozen different cakes and pies, Baskin Robbins ice cream or soft serve, every kind of cookie I’ve ever heard of, doughnuts, pastries, jello-ish looking stuff with other stuff in it, puddings and more. You have to see it to believe it.
Now that I’ve settled in to my tent and have gotten familiar with my new surroundings, its really not bad at all. The tent has heat (and I thought deserts were hot?) and real foam mattresses (I bought a pillow since none was provided). We’ve got a gym that’s open 24 hrs a day, as is the Starbucks, KFC, Hardees, Subway and Burger King. Pizza Hut closes at midnight however.
I’ll be in my tent for a couple of weeks then move in with my newest crop of 59 friends in the open bay berthing near the hospital where I’ll be.
Well that’s about it for now. I’ve got a bunch of pictures, so if I can figure out how to do it, I’ll post them along with a short description.
Take care out there!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
I made it!
After what will undoubtedly make for a wonderful post, I am here. Since I'm sharing computers at the moment I don't have time to post the full details, but I'll write them up later and then copy/paste them so I can be quick about it.
Stay tuned!
Stay tuned!
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