And here you see why you don't want to be too close to a helicopter landing or, as in this pic, taking off.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Kuwait from another angle
The top 2 are on a drive to another base. So how far do you think you can see? Don't ask me 'cause I don't know either! The posted 'suggested speed limit' is 40 kph. Average speed in reality: 140 kph. Really. Some day I'll capture a 10-20 second video clip of the fools driving and you'll seeeeeeee. The bottom picture is what you can see out the passenger side window. I just KNOW you wish you were here with me now don't you? ;-)
Remember back a few posts ago I said something about people live here on purpose? I just don't get it...
Pictures as promised
Top is the temp in the shade; 97 degrees fahrenheit (thank you dictionary.com).
Next 4 are my other office...in the double wide trailer. See? I told you my desk was a deep freeze!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Walking salt lick
So yesterday we had some more mandatory fun. Burgers, steaks, dogs and wings, horse shoes, volley ball and soccer. This was the first time I've been outside for any length of time in the middle of the day. With that, I got to get a small taste of just what the heat can be like over here. I'll have to go to work and use a good internet connection to upload pictures, but when I do you'll see just how comfy it was...in the shade.
Have you ever heard of playing horse shoes with 3 shoes instead of 2? I don't know where some of these people learned how to play, but I corrected them and we played a singles and a doubles game of which I won both. :-)
Volley ball actually was kinda uneventful, not enough people haning out at one time to make good teams.
So after living through the sun and wind and sand, I was almost as salty as my wife! (that's salty in a good way) See, even with all the activity, is 'seemed' like I wasn't really sweating. Since it was as hot as it was, sweat evaporates almost immediately leaving behind...salt.
If I were back in base housing in Annapolis, the whole herd woud've been visiting to get a taste. (there's a herd of deer on base)
Pictures to come.....
Have you ever heard of playing horse shoes with 3 shoes instead of 2? I don't know where some of these people learned how to play, but I corrected them and we played a singles and a doubles game of which I won both. :-)
Volley ball actually was kinda uneventful, not enough people haning out at one time to make good teams.
So after living through the sun and wind and sand, I was almost as salty as my wife! (that's salty in a good way) See, even with all the activity, is 'seemed' like I wasn't really sweating. Since it was as hot as it was, sweat evaporates almost immediately leaving behind...salt.
If I were back in base housing in Annapolis, the whole herd woud've been visiting to get a taste. (there's a herd of deer on base)
Pictures to come.....
10 do's and don'ts
Before any of us are allowed to go on a tour of Kuwait City or go to Qatar on R&R, we have to attend a cultural awareness class. I attended what could have been a very informative 2 hr class that turned out to be a ranting lecture by someone who obviously felt that what he was saying ws falling on deaf ears. The gentleman teaching us, "Tom", maybe just wasn't in a good mood or it was that time of the month or whatever, but the class sucked. What I did get out of it was the 10 do's and don'ts: (we didn't get a real explanation for any of them, so we were left to just nod and consent)
1- Do not initiate cross gender conversations unless absolutely necesary
2- Do not stare at the opposite sex and avoid eye contact with veiled women
3- Do not take pictures of women, especially veiled women, even if they are in the back ground
4- Do not show affection in public
5- Do not wear tight or revealing clothing
6- Men do not shake hands with women unless they initiate it
7- Do not go into a Mosque unless with a Kuwaiti local official or tour guide
8- Do not lose your temper in public and do not publicly embarrass anyone
9- Do not use profanity; maintain a calm tone of voice and mannerisms in public
10-Do not cross your legs revealing the soles of your feet or shoes
Now, having met 1000's of indestructible young male Marines, Sailors and Soldiers, I can assure you than many would have the immediate response of "Yeah, right...I'm an American and I'll do what I want. Hell, these people owe us for saving their ass back in the 90's so I can do whatever I want."
I'm afraid this is the ugly truth for many, and thus opportunities to see Kuwait are few and far between and are chaperoned by senior enlisted people who WILL "turn the bus around and go home" as soon as one idiot steps out of line.
Some explanation I did garner from the class was this: Kuwait is a fairly conservative country, and while there are plenty of people who are following a looser interpretation of Islam/The Koran, most adhere to a more traditional way. Family is very important and when it comes to male/female interaction it is very controlled insomuch as if a woman isn't your mom, sister, wife or daughter, you've got no business talking to her. It's a far cry from daily life in America, but guess what? This ISN'T America.
In addition to the 10 rules, if we were ever to find ourselves a guest of a Kuwaiti, showing hospitality will be a big part of the interaction. When offered a drink, accept graciously. Unless you're alergic to it or have a religious reason for not drinking (Mormon/caffiene), as Tom put it "You signed up to die for your country, so for the sake of keeping the American/Kuwaiti relationship, drink it even if you see something floating in it!"
And lastly, I didn't get any explanation about the feet thing.
With any luck, in mid April I'll get an opportunity to go out and see the city and then I'll be able to tell everyone what it's really like. :-)
1- Do not initiate cross gender conversations unless absolutely necesary
2- Do not stare at the opposite sex and avoid eye contact with veiled women
3- Do not take pictures of women, especially veiled women, even if they are in the back ground
4- Do not show affection in public
5- Do not wear tight or revealing clothing
6- Men do not shake hands with women unless they initiate it
7- Do not go into a Mosque unless with a Kuwaiti local official or tour guide
8- Do not lose your temper in public and do not publicly embarrass anyone
9- Do not use profanity; maintain a calm tone of voice and mannerisms in public
10-Do not cross your legs revealing the soles of your feet or shoes
Now, having met 1000's of indestructible young male Marines, Sailors and Soldiers, I can assure you than many would have the immediate response of "Yeah, right...I'm an American and I'll do what I want. Hell, these people owe us for saving their ass back in the 90's so I can do whatever I want."
I'm afraid this is the ugly truth for many, and thus opportunities to see Kuwait are few and far between and are chaperoned by senior enlisted people who WILL "turn the bus around and go home" as soon as one idiot steps out of line.
Some explanation I did garner from the class was this: Kuwait is a fairly conservative country, and while there are plenty of people who are following a looser interpretation of Islam/The Koran, most adhere to a more traditional way. Family is very important and when it comes to male/female interaction it is very controlled insomuch as if a woman isn't your mom, sister, wife or daughter, you've got no business talking to her. It's a far cry from daily life in America, but guess what? This ISN'T America.
In addition to the 10 rules, if we were ever to find ourselves a guest of a Kuwaiti, showing hospitality will be a big part of the interaction. When offered a drink, accept graciously. Unless you're alergic to it or have a religious reason for not drinking (Mormon/caffiene), as Tom put it "You signed up to die for your country, so for the sake of keeping the American/Kuwaiti relationship, drink it even if you see something floating in it!"
And lastly, I didn't get any explanation about the feet thing.
With any luck, in mid April I'll get an opportunity to go out and see the city and then I'll be able to tell everyone what it's really like. :-)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Oops...too much at one time
Well, it looks like I went overboard. you'll have to go on to the next page to read all about Haji!
Not a cloud in the sky
Believe it or not, this is at about quarter to 5 PM. You can look directly at the sun most days and because of all the sand/dust in the air, this is what the sun looks like. A white ball.
Where I work and the RLB
I'm in the one with the airconditioner...um I mean the one with the stairs and the blocked up window...err the one with the rocks out front...oh never mind.
The immediate area around my RLB (relocatable barracks)
Top is our outdoor lounge area, middle is our crecent moon inn, except we can't put the crescent on the door because that would be like us changing the crescent our our out-houses to a crucifix (I bet you can see how well that'd go over eh?), and the bottom picture is meant to show a snow drift. Oops, I mean a SAND drift! Silly me......
All mine
And this is where I spend the majority of my off work time. What do you mean jail cells are bigger? How would you know? :-O
My office.....please try and contain yourself.
You wish you had a desk this cool....I know....don't be jealous!
And now, more pictures!!!!!
I just figured out how to make panoramic pictures. This is one of the areas for shopping on base.
And this is where the majority of the folks here live. In tents.
Have good connection....will type.
After many good intentions and a couple of trys even, I have a solid enough internet connection in my RLB to allow me to catch up 100%. (...and the crowd goes wild!!!!!)
The last of the items I previewed that I need to tell you about is Haji DVDs.
It seems that no matter where Americans are sent around the world, we always come up with a nickname for those whose country we're in. For Kuwait, the locals (and everyone else even if they aren't locals but are employed by whoever it is that employs the employees who do all the 'menial' jobs on the various bases...cause pretty much none of them are Kuwaiti, they're from India or Bangledesh. Go figure.) are referred to as Haji. Unlike some other eras, there is no malice or negative connotation with the title, and some are even propogating the rumor that calling someone Haji would be accurate if they've made the pilgrimage to Meca so even if they haven't done so yet referring to someone with that title is nice and respectful. Believe it if you will, I have no idea if it's true.
Anyway.....
We also use the term when referring to items that are ...questionable in authenticity. How many Rolexes have you seen for $30? Is an Ipod and an ipod and an I-pod all the same thing? Who's to know! I've spelled thiags rong evrey onece in awile....... maybe someone made a mistake at the factory and THAT'S why it's $45 instead of $250. Sounds plausible to me......... :-O
One other thing about shopping in general, especially from the people who are selling at a table outside the PX, is all prices are negotiable. If you've never haggled over the price of something WITH someone who wants to haggle back, it's very......interresting. All the vendors will try to catch your attention like a verbally challenged carnie. Imagine if you will a very heavy Indian (as in India not as in Native Americans) accent beckonning:
"Sir, come see. I have good price just for you."
Meeeeeee? Little o'l me? You're going to make a special deal for me? You mean I don't have to pay the price on the tag? WOW!!!! Today's my lucky day!!!! Where can I buy a scratch ticket before my luck runs out?!!!!! Show me what you've got to offer me Haji, if it's (fans of Gallager say it with me now) ON SALE how can I say no?!!!!
So maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe, it IS a real Rolex, and he's just giving it to me at the super-reduced-special-for-me-only price of $25! (you notice it got cheaper as I approached the table right? ;-) I do try to provide the sense that you're really there ya know!)
So now that you've got the idea, I told you all that to tell you about:
Haji DVD
Little did I know when I accepted this post in Kuwait, that I would learn what very few people around the Earth probably know; DVD's come out in Kuwait first! Sooooooooomehow, a movie that has it's premier on any given Friday is available on DVD in Kuwait on Sunday!!!! Isn't that amazing???!!!!??? Sometimes, we even get SPECIAL EDITIONS of very recent movies. Did you know that ORIGINALLY the latest installment of Rocky (we know it as 'Rocky Balboa') was printed with labels naming the movie Rocky VI? And I think we might even be a special test market too, because we can get full seasons of TV shows that I've never seen or heard of even being ON DVD and sometimes, like when writers go on strike, we miiiiiiiiiiiight even get the first 1/2 of a season on DVD before the second 1/2 of the season has aired!!!! Isn't that cool!?!
We're special.
I'm sure of it.
Now with all of this, you're probably thinking that we have to pay an arm and a leg for the privelege of being first in the world to get all of this good stuff. Well....you thought WRONG!!!!!!!
Not only do we get all of this special treatment, but we get any 6 movies we want for $20!!!!!!!!
There is a draw back though. (You knew it was comming didn't you? Nothing could be this good. Right?)
We get the DVD's so early in they're production, that the boxes haven't even been made yet, so we have to settle for a proof of what will become the cover of the box when you poor sots FINALLY get to buy what I already had the chance to buy 3-6 months earlier. And it comes in a recloseable baggie too. And the baggie hardly ever rips the first 3-4 times you open and close it.
You're jealous aren't you? I knew you would be! (So this is what it's like when one of 'those people' say "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!")
I wonder if the guy at customs knows about the special circumstances surrounding our special-ness when it comes time to bring our special DVDs home?
HMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................
The last of the items I previewed that I need to tell you about is Haji DVDs.
It seems that no matter where Americans are sent around the world, we always come up with a nickname for those whose country we're in. For Kuwait, the locals (and everyone else even if they aren't locals but are employed by whoever it is that employs the employees who do all the 'menial' jobs on the various bases...cause pretty much none of them are Kuwaiti, they're from India or Bangledesh. Go figure.) are referred to as Haji. Unlike some other eras, there is no malice or negative connotation with the title, and some are even propogating the rumor that calling someone Haji would be accurate if they've made the pilgrimage to Meca so even if they haven't done so yet referring to someone with that title is nice and respectful. Believe it if you will, I have no idea if it's true.
Anyway.....
We also use the term when referring to items that are ...questionable in authenticity. How many Rolexes have you seen for $30? Is an Ipod and an ipod and an I-pod all the same thing? Who's to know! I've spelled thiags rong evrey onece in awile....... maybe someone made a mistake at the factory and THAT'S why it's $45 instead of $250. Sounds plausible to me......... :-O
One other thing about shopping in general, especially from the people who are selling at a table outside the PX, is all prices are negotiable. If you've never haggled over the price of something WITH someone who wants to haggle back, it's very......interresting. All the vendors will try to catch your attention like a verbally challenged carnie. Imagine if you will a very heavy Indian (as in India not as in Native Americans) accent beckonning:
"Sir, come see. I have good price just for you."
Meeeeeee? Little o'l me? You're going to make a special deal for me? You mean I don't have to pay the price on the tag? WOW!!!! Today's my lucky day!!!! Where can I buy a scratch ticket before my luck runs out?!!!!! Show me what you've got to offer me Haji, if it's (fans of Gallager say it with me now) ON SALE how can I say no?!!!!
So maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe, it IS a real Rolex, and he's just giving it to me at the super-reduced-special-for-me-only price of $25! (you notice it got cheaper as I approached the table right? ;-) I do try to provide the sense that you're really there ya know!)
So now that you've got the idea, I told you all that to tell you about:
Haji DVD
Little did I know when I accepted this post in Kuwait, that I would learn what very few people around the Earth probably know; DVD's come out in Kuwait first! Sooooooooomehow, a movie that has it's premier on any given Friday is available on DVD in Kuwait on Sunday!!!! Isn't that amazing???!!!!??? Sometimes, we even get SPECIAL EDITIONS of very recent movies. Did you know that ORIGINALLY the latest installment of Rocky (we know it as 'Rocky Balboa') was printed with labels naming the movie Rocky VI? And I think we might even be a special test market too, because we can get full seasons of TV shows that I've never seen or heard of even being ON DVD and sometimes, like when writers go on strike, we miiiiiiiiiiiight even get the first 1/2 of a season on DVD before the second 1/2 of the season has aired!!!! Isn't that cool!?!
We're special.
I'm sure of it.
Now with all of this, you're probably thinking that we have to pay an arm and a leg for the privelege of being first in the world to get all of this good stuff. Well....you thought WRONG!!!!!!!
Not only do we get all of this special treatment, but we get any 6 movies we want for $20!!!!!!!!
There is a draw back though. (You knew it was comming didn't you? Nothing could be this good. Right?)
We get the DVD's so early in they're production, that the boxes haven't even been made yet, so we have to settle for a proof of what will become the cover of the box when you poor sots FINALLY get to buy what I already had the chance to buy 3-6 months earlier. And it comes in a recloseable baggie too. And the baggie hardly ever rips the first 3-4 times you open and close it.
You're jealous aren't you? I knew you would be! (So this is what it's like when one of 'those people' say "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!")
I wonder if the guy at customs knows about the special circumstances surrounding our special-ness when it comes time to bring our special DVDs home?
HMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........................
Thursday, March 13, 2008
How many of you know who Paul Harvey is?
Because it's now time for....
The rest of the story.
So here I am in lovely VA, making the best of things. I've got 1000's of hours (litterally) of recorded TV and movies to entertain myslef with, I've read 3 books, been to the gym once (just found it Monday), have played bingo twice (every Tuesday at 1900, try to win $25 (or $50 for the cover all) in AFES gift cards. And with about 30 people playing and 7 games a night, I figure it's just a matter of time until I get mine! :-) ), will get around to Texas Hold'em on Fridays if I can get back from my second work locale in a timely manner...ever..., have played lots and lots of The Spoils with my friend (note this isn't plural) Jason the Army guy, watched a chinese Jet Li movie with both English and Arabic subtitles at the same time and have thus far avoided the temptation of eating Pizza Inn or Mickey D's or Subway (free food is the way to go and a few of the deserts are really really good), found the library and have discovered there's a third phone I can call home on!
Not too shabby eh? :-)
So let me tell you about my second work locale:
The double wide
The second clinic I cover is Ali (that's the short version of the name anyway). The clinic there is attached to the fire house and is really nothing more than a military version of a relocatable double wide trailer. There isn't a physical therapy space, but there are 2 scary looking tables that I can put patients on (as long as they're no more than 250), and a perfectly good deep freeze I can use as a desk. You know thet kind that's basically a GIANT cooler...the floor model that opens just like a cooler? Yup, that's my desk. The area is also storage for immunizations and various wraps and splints and orthotics, which I might actually use so I can see why those got dumped...I mean placed there, and the sterilizer and it's instruments in various conditions depending on whether or not they've been cleaned.
This is where I work 2 days as week.
Not only are the conditions as I've described, they haven't really kept me very busy, so I sorta feel like I'm wasting at least some time whenever I'm there. Of course I make the best of it as I do with most everything, and have out done myself almost every time I'm there at each of the 3 different size boards on Minesweeper. Have you ever played Minesweeper on a lap top with the touch pad mouse that can't have the "tap = click" function turned off? Well let me tell you....every time I'm about to set a new world record time for finishing a board the stupid mouse pad mistakes a touch for a tap and instead of flagging a bomb I set the damn bomb off!!!!! It's so damn frustrating!!!! Then I remember that I could be working instead and reset the board to try again. ;-) Oh, and I've discovered Sudoku!!!! There was a book of them in the "take it if you want it" bucket at the front desk of the double wide, so I did. And now I'm hooked!
So that's pretty much Ali. I'm working on getting my hrs changed so I'm only there for 2 half days instead of 2 whole days, so I can use my time more efficiently and maybe get out of working Saturday afternoons by increasing the number of patients I see during the week. :-)
Well that's all the time I have at the moment, but I intend on getting the last bits caught up later today after I go to the gym again.
That is if I can find it in a dust storm and the current dust storm doesn't become a sand storm.
Ciao!
The rest of the story.
So here I am in lovely VA, making the best of things. I've got 1000's of hours (litterally) of recorded TV and movies to entertain myslef with, I've read 3 books, been to the gym once (just found it Monday), have played bingo twice (every Tuesday at 1900, try to win $25 (or $50 for the cover all) in AFES gift cards. And with about 30 people playing and 7 games a night, I figure it's just a matter of time until I get mine! :-) ), will get around to Texas Hold'em on Fridays if I can get back from my second work locale in a timely manner...ever..., have played lots and lots of The Spoils with my friend (note this isn't plural) Jason the Army guy, watched a chinese Jet Li movie with both English and Arabic subtitles at the same time and have thus far avoided the temptation of eating Pizza Inn or Mickey D's or Subway (free food is the way to go and a few of the deserts are really really good), found the library and have discovered there's a third phone I can call home on!
Not too shabby eh? :-)
So let me tell you about my second work locale:
The double wide
The second clinic I cover is Ali (that's the short version of the name anyway). The clinic there is attached to the fire house and is really nothing more than a military version of a relocatable double wide trailer. There isn't a physical therapy space, but there are 2 scary looking tables that I can put patients on (as long as they're no more than 250), and a perfectly good deep freeze I can use as a desk. You know thet kind that's basically a GIANT cooler...the floor model that opens just like a cooler? Yup, that's my desk. The area is also storage for immunizations and various wraps and splints and orthotics, which I might actually use so I can see why those got dumped...I mean placed there, and the sterilizer and it's instruments in various conditions depending on whether or not they've been cleaned.
This is where I work 2 days as week.
Not only are the conditions as I've described, they haven't really kept me very busy, so I sorta feel like I'm wasting at least some time whenever I'm there. Of course I make the best of it as I do with most everything, and have out done myself almost every time I'm there at each of the 3 different size boards on Minesweeper. Have you ever played Minesweeper on a lap top with the touch pad mouse that can't have the "tap = click" function turned off? Well let me tell you....every time I'm about to set a new world record time for finishing a board the stupid mouse pad mistakes a touch for a tap and instead of flagging a bomb I set the damn bomb off!!!!! It's so damn frustrating!!!! Then I remember that I could be working instead and reset the board to try again. ;-) Oh, and I've discovered Sudoku!!!! There was a book of them in the "take it if you want it" bucket at the front desk of the double wide, so I did. And now I'm hooked!
So that's pretty much Ali. I'm working on getting my hrs changed so I'm only there for 2 half days instead of 2 whole days, so I can use my time more efficiently and maybe get out of working Saturday afternoons by increasing the number of patients I see during the week. :-)
Well that's all the time I have at the moment, but I intend on getting the last bits caught up later today after I go to the gym again.
That is if I can find it in a dust storm and the current dust storm doesn't become a sand storm.
Ciao!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
By popular demand
Well by heavy innuendo at least....from my wife......
Baby by phone
Star date 2/22/08, a day like no other.
By 1230 my time, the day was just starting. Back at home, my beautiful wife was headed to the hospital to have our second baby, that which would be Joyce Marie Rohrer. Unless you've been through it, you can only imagine how slow time can move when you're 1/2 way around the world and your wife is having a baby without you. But let me not start this blog entry on a downer, just leave it at, "oiy! what a day!"
So the plan is set, friend on board ready to take pictures and do video for me, hourly updates by phone, and sometime around 1700-1800 my time, Joyce would be here.
Call #1 was from me to Connie. Time to leave for the hospital and get it all started.
Call #2 was from the hospital. All checked in, ready to go, pit via venous puncture entering an upper extremity through a plastic tube. (she was being induced)
Call #3-it'a around 1530 my time, and nothing's happening yet.
Call #4-an hour or so later and we have contractions. Not big ones, not too close together, well at least not close enough or big enough for...well...you know...
Call #5- another hour gone by and things are progressing. Connie's on the birthing ball focusing through the pain, concentrating on the job at hand, probably wishing things would move a little faster. Not me though, I was fine...really....no worries from here.... :-)
Call #6-it's somewhere after 1800, the contractions are coming hard and fast. Connie's not really talking to her helper, our friend (and my special person!...another story...) Mikelle. After seeing the video, Mikelle is helping as much as she can, not that anyone can do more than try and say the right things and just be there.
Call #7-It's time!!!!!!
"Scott, she feels like she needs to push! Oh my god, she's crowning!"
The next few minutes are pretty much a blur.
I'm in my room, alone. I'm listening to quite a commotion in a hospital room where my wife is about to give birth. There's a momentary break from grunting and Connie gets the phone and says my name.
"I'm here honey, you're doing fine. We've done this before and you know what to do."
"AAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" This is the sound my wife makes when she's pushing and it also sounds strangely like me when I'm in the epiphany booth thinking or reading. (if you don't get it, I'm not explaining it)
Lots more commotion....lots of voices....everyone's saying Connie this or Connie that.....you're doing fine.....good job....things of that nature.
The gruntingyellingpushing noise from my wife subsides and I think I probably said something encouraging and that Joyce was almost here and she could do it or something like that.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A distant female voice is heard to say "that was the shoulders...one more push and she's out"
Hunh? Wait a minute..... She just crowned 3 minutes ago, she's pushed twice and the head and shoulders are out??? Did I miss something??? It doesn't work like that! You have to push for a while, grunt more, you know?
"AAAAAAAAAaaarrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"
"It's a girl!!!!!!"
From there Joyce was placed on Connie's belly, she's in tears and so am I. In the next few moments Connie cuts the cord herself and Joyce is officially on her own.
After all is settled down and the refs go to the instant replay (ok so there were no refs and it was Connie viewing the video of the birth) it was figured that from the urge to push to Joyce's entry into the world only 5 minutes and 18 seconds elapsed.
Even though the hospital doesn't allow video of the birth, things happened so fast that no one bothered to worry about a video camera running off to the side! :-D So we've got it all for posterity and I got to see the whole thing in living color via DVD about 10 days later.
Thanks to Mikelle for all the pics, video and all the commentary I was hoping for. I knew I picked the right special person! ;-)
To my wife, whom has been called a 'pioneer woman' (that's a compliment by the way) and who was viewed as a 'good German girl' by my late Nana, who once again went completely natural, no drugs of any kind, induced (that makes the contractions hurt more by the way) and pushed out an 8 pound 11.6 oz beautiful baby girl in holycraprecord time, thank you for doing all that work without me and doing it so damn well! Good job honey. Bravo Zulu! :-D
Lets not do this again. OK? ;-)
And there you have it, my daughter's birth via phone.
Baby by phone
Star date 2/22/08, a day like no other.
By 1230 my time, the day was just starting. Back at home, my beautiful wife was headed to the hospital to have our second baby, that which would be Joyce Marie Rohrer. Unless you've been through it, you can only imagine how slow time can move when you're 1/2 way around the world and your wife is having a baby without you. But let me not start this blog entry on a downer, just leave it at, "oiy! what a day!"
So the plan is set, friend on board ready to take pictures and do video for me, hourly updates by phone, and sometime around 1700-1800 my time, Joyce would be here.
Call #1 was from me to Connie. Time to leave for the hospital and get it all started.
Call #2 was from the hospital. All checked in, ready to go, pit via venous puncture entering an upper extremity through a plastic tube. (she was being induced)
Call #3-it'a around 1530 my time, and nothing's happening yet.
Call #4-an hour or so later and we have contractions. Not big ones, not too close together, well at least not close enough or big enough for...well...you know...
Call #5- another hour gone by and things are progressing. Connie's on the birthing ball focusing through the pain, concentrating on the job at hand, probably wishing things would move a little faster. Not me though, I was fine...really....no worries from here.... :-)
Call #6-it's somewhere after 1800, the contractions are coming hard and fast. Connie's not really talking to her helper, our friend (and my special person!...another story...) Mikelle. After seeing the video, Mikelle is helping as much as she can, not that anyone can do more than try and say the right things and just be there.
Call #7-It's time!!!!!!
"Scott, she feels like she needs to push! Oh my god, she's crowning!"
The next few minutes are pretty much a blur.
I'm in my room, alone. I'm listening to quite a commotion in a hospital room where my wife is about to give birth. There's a momentary break from grunting and Connie gets the phone and says my name.
"I'm here honey, you're doing fine. We've done this before and you know what to do."
"AAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" This is the sound my wife makes when she's pushing and it also sounds strangely like me when I'm in the epiphany booth thinking or reading. (if you don't get it, I'm not explaining it)
Lots more commotion....lots of voices....everyone's saying Connie this or Connie that.....you're doing fine.....good job....things of that nature.
The gruntingyellingpushing noise from my wife subsides and I think I probably said something encouraging and that Joyce was almost here and she could do it or something like that.
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A distant female voice is heard to say "that was the shoulders...one more push and she's out"
Hunh? Wait a minute..... She just crowned 3 minutes ago, she's pushed twice and the head and shoulders are out??? Did I miss something??? It doesn't work like that! You have to push for a while, grunt more, you know?
"AAAAAAAAAaaarrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"
"It's a girl!!!!!!"
From there Joyce was placed on Connie's belly, she's in tears and so am I. In the next few moments Connie cuts the cord herself and Joyce is officially on her own.
After all is settled down and the refs go to the instant replay (ok so there were no refs and it was Connie viewing the video of the birth) it was figured that from the urge to push to Joyce's entry into the world only 5 minutes and 18 seconds elapsed.
Even though the hospital doesn't allow video of the birth, things happened so fast that no one bothered to worry about a video camera running off to the side! :-D So we've got it all for posterity and I got to see the whole thing in living color via DVD about 10 days later.
Thanks to Mikelle for all the pics, video and all the commentary I was hoping for. I knew I picked the right special person! ;-)
To my wife, whom has been called a 'pioneer woman' (that's a compliment by the way) and who was viewed as a 'good German girl' by my late Nana, who once again went completely natural, no drugs of any kind, induced (that makes the contractions hurt more by the way) and pushed out an 8 pound 11.6 oz beautiful baby girl in holycraprecord time, thank you for doing all that work without me and doing it so damn well! Good job honey. Bravo Zulu! :-D
Lets not do this again. OK? ;-)
And there you have it, my daughter's birth via phone.
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