The plan: Meet @ 0945, get paperwork, go to medical appt @ 1030, get final medical clearance, attend a series of MANDATORY briefs from 1230-?.
What really happened:
Meet @ 0945, arrive to get paperwork @ 0950. Can we have our paperwork? No. "It's too early. You can have your paperwork at 1010."
OK, no biggie, wait here or wait there, what's the difference? Right?
Get paperwork at 1010, leave for medical.
Arrive at medical @ 1020. I'm first in line since I know I've got a few things to get done here that I thought were ok, but this place want's annual medical requirements (things you need to do once a year) done no more than 6 months ago so that no requirements will be required while over there. Ok, I can accept that and it even makes sense. So I'm first in line to ensure I can get chow before the MANDATORY briefs.
First off, vital signs. No problem.
Next, anthrax vaccine. Can you say ou-freaking-ch?
Then, time to see the provider.
I find that my provider is already looking for me, so I find him and we get started. Great!
Except for one thing...
The questionaire I filled out Monday isn't in my record.
10 minutes later and after talking to 3 people (one very condecending who really wanted it to be my fault that the paperwork was missing when it wasn't) it's determined that I have to return to the other side of base to get another copy and fill it out again. Because these brain children don't have a copy that I can fill out here. It's the first crucial piece of paperwork but it's not kept on hand where it's needed. Brilliant eh?
It's 1100 and I'm off to get what I need and get back as fast a possible.
1115 and I'm back. There's only 4 people from my group that aren't done but only one provider left at this hour. Christ all mighty......
Luckily, 2 considerate providers take 2 of the 4 of us so we can get done in a reasonable amount of time. I'm still last.
I get to tak to my provider, and the first question: Have you done you're (other paperwork related to talking to one specific person who goes over your family history, personal medical history etc. Something that takes 30+ minutes)? Didn't know until today that I'd need to do it, but since I do have to do it again I get "come back at 1300 to have it done."
Um, see a problem here?
It's now 1200 and I'm not going anywhere until I eat!
Reach the galley at 1210, eat and get back to the van at 1219. The galley's 2 minutes away and it took another 2 minutes to get through the chow line. No, I didn't taste a thing. :)
1230 I'm there for the first brief so at least I'll get one of 4 done as it's been decided that the unmissasble MANDATORY briefs can take a back seat to getting medical clearance. But does the brief happen on time? Of course not! Talk about this and that and blah blah blah, and now it's 1250 and I'm leaving without receiving any of the MANDATORY briefs.
1300 and one other guy and I are standing by for out appt. But did anyone tell the person we had our appoint ment with that we'd be ther at 1300? Of course not! She already had someone booked for 1300. :)
1345 and now It's my turn. Within a few minutes of getting started with this paperwork, "Did you get your hearing test?"
Nope.
1400 and I'm in the booth.
1415 and I'm done.
Minutes later I'm back, but she's finishing up with someone else, so it's back to waiting.
By the time I'm done it's just after 1500 thanks to her very, very, very thourough appointment.
Am I now done? No.
Remember that provider I saw 4 hrs ago? I still need to finish up with her. But is she here? Hell no! 1500 = quitting time you silly!
Luckily there's another provider (one of the nice ones that took 1 of the 4 of us way back when) is still here so she agrees to finish up with me. But she's seeing someone at the moment, so stand by.
When I'm finally done, it's 1520. But am I done? No.
Back to find someone (one of the 2 approved persons) to sign on my bottom line and state for the record that I really am done. But where the hell is one of them?
My compatiriot through all of this is still here and knows where to find one of them. Sure enough he's there and I get signed off. Thanks Chief Morse. :)
It's now 1530 and I'm done.
Back to the processing station where the brains of this operation are and the other 198 personnel leaving with me are walking out. So much for those MANDATORY briefs!
And how do we top off this fantastic day? The power is out. No finishing this evolution for me! Come back in the morning to do the last step. Luckily, I had to be there at 0800 anyway so it's all good.
And what's in store for tomorrow? A brief letting us know what to expect when we get to our training site (30 minutes maybe) followed by...nothing until 1100 Saturday!
Freaking brilliant eh?
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